Ryan Braun won his appeal of a 50 game suspension for testing positive for an extremely elevated level of testosterone.
Ryan Braun proclaims innocence.
Major League Baseball cries foul.
Regardless of your position on whether or not Ryan Braun should or should not be branded a cheater, and be suspended there are a couple things to think about:
Major League Baseball is a multi-billion enterprise. Billion is 9 zeros after a 1. Owners make a shit ton of money. Players make a shit ton of money, TV makes a shit ton of money. Fans pay a shit ton of money for tickets, parking ($10 for cheapie parking at Miller Park), brats, beer, tee shirts, jerseys.
Players are tested, not only when they are under contract, but their entire playing career beginning as kids. I mean tested in the sense of can they hit, field, throw? Are their joints solid? Is there an injury risk, and on and on. They have to sign contracts promising never to bet on baseball, or they are banned. They have assorted clauses that they have to comply with - all to assure the investment that owners are making is protected.
You would think something as important as the testing for performance enhancing drugs in a mulit-billion dollare enterprise would follow a pretty strict protocol. And according to the current collective bargaining agreement in place, there are protocols in place that each side has agreed to.
Did Braunie get off on a technicality? I don't know, but Major League Baseball - follow your own protocol.
Technically, maybe MLB would do a little more than hire some part time techs looking for some side cash to collect
samples. You would think - technically.
Maybe technically samples should be sent the lab according to protocol.
Technically, maybe, technically, said sample shouldn't sit
in the collectors fridge for two days until it can be sent to, you
know, get tested - technically.
Technically, before you technically take away about a third of a players pay you should be sure.
Technically some guys fridge is not a "cold and secure" location. I mean, I trust my buddies, but I don't want my shit in their fridge. MLB should at least be as stringent as me.
I guess, technically, before owners give up fans' spending money in their stadiums because the MVP won't be there, they should be sure.
Maybe, just maybe, before you forever cast a cloud over the integrity of a player, technically, who has never tested positive for anything, thus harming his earning potential outside of baseball you should be sure.
I don't know maybe you should technically collect samples on a weekday when you have more time to get to the Fed Ex Store.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Sex without consequence - someone actually said that
Much ado about contraception, and whether a religious institution should cover it under the health insurance for its employees. I actually heard, ok read, a conservative pundit say that women can't be protected from sex without consequence.
Nobody seems to worry about sending the wrong message to men about sex without consequences. I mean we shouldn't compel a religious institution to cover birth control pills because, of course, sex is only for pro-creation purposes. And of course men can be trusted with the prescriptions for viagra, or cialis, and that the resulting sex will ONLY be used for procreation. Men have too much integrity. I mean, WE never fake orgasm.
So, of course, birth control in any forms is wrong because it encourages sex without consequence. That's God's will right? If you're a man though, we are free to medicate against God's will. If God's will was for you to have a limp dick, THAT we can fix. Sex without consequence. What DOES that mean anyway? For a man, the only consequence of sex is........marriage I guess Sex without consequence? That's only for priests.
Nobody seems to worry about sending the wrong message to men about sex without consequences. I mean we shouldn't compel a religious institution to cover birth control pills because, of course, sex is only for pro-creation purposes. And of course men can be trusted with the prescriptions for viagra, or cialis, and that the resulting sex will ONLY be used for procreation. Men have too much integrity. I mean, WE never fake orgasm.
So, of course, birth control in any forms is wrong because it encourages sex without consequence. That's God's will right? If you're a man though, we are free to medicate against God's will. If God's will was for you to have a limp dick, THAT we can fix. Sex without consequence. What DOES that mean anyway? For a man, the only consequence of sex is........marriage I guess Sex without consequence? That's only for priests.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Save the world and the economy
It occurred to me there would be a better opportunity for world peace, and a more just economy if we did one (big) thing.
Publicize some fake Quran burnings, gay soldier funerals, and whatever else will draw out the fanatically fundamentalist religious knuckle dragging mouth breathers. Round them all up, Put them on a fleet of boats and planes to the same remote island. Let them kill each others in an orgy of fundamentalist zeal. Put the months long reality drama/ultimate fighting match on pay per view with the money earmarked for public deficits.
Bang! All the troublemakers wipe each other out, and the rest of the world makes a shit-ton of money.
Publicize some fake Quran burnings, gay soldier funerals, and whatever else will draw out the fanatically fundamentalist religious knuckle dragging mouth breathers. Round them all up, Put them on a fleet of boats and planes to the same remote island. Let them kill each others in an orgy of fundamentalist zeal. Put the months long reality drama/ultimate fighting match on pay per view with the money earmarked for public deficits.
Bang! All the troublemakers wipe each other out, and the rest of the world makes a shit-ton of money.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Green grass and batters boxes
Well here it is. Football has wrapped. The hoopla has abated, and the parades for the winners have been swept after. Winter's chill has it's grip still, but we know it's slipping. There surely will be a final blast or two from Jack Frost, but the time is upon us where baseball's beckon comes more clear.
Soon will be the time for diamond dirt to be dragged, and smoothed. Groundskeepers picking out pebbles. Sprinklers come alive with rainbows beneath the arc of water. The warmth of the sun grows longer, and higher. The sky blue of spring pushes out the gray of winter. And the grass, sweet grass, blooms.
Does it need to be a flower to bloom? No, The deep emerald green of an field's expanse is as sweet as any bloom to the eye. There isn't a green that's quite the same. It's as vivid, and deep as a green can be. The bristly soft texture of a kept field. Soft as a shoeshine brush. Cool on the back as you lay down. Inviting as a warm blanket.
Put paths in the middle of it all, and a fence on it's perimeter. Bright white squares in the freshly dragged infield. Straight white lines from the home plate to infinity with a marker where the fence intersects. As straight as straight can be. Next to the plate a measured white box. One each side across from the plate in perfect symmetry.
Soon it will be spring, and bats, balls, and mitts will litter the diamond and dugouts. It's a different feeling than the measured grid of a football field. Not as intimidating. More inclusive. Surrounded by that warm, cool, soft, bristly deep emerald grass.
Missed you baseball.
Soon will be the time for diamond dirt to be dragged, and smoothed. Groundskeepers picking out pebbles. Sprinklers come alive with rainbows beneath the arc of water. The warmth of the sun grows longer, and higher. The sky blue of spring pushes out the gray of winter. And the grass, sweet grass, blooms.
Does it need to be a flower to bloom? No, The deep emerald green of an field's expanse is as sweet as any bloom to the eye. There isn't a green that's quite the same. It's as vivid, and deep as a green can be. The bristly soft texture of a kept field. Soft as a shoeshine brush. Cool on the back as you lay down. Inviting as a warm blanket.
Put paths in the middle of it all, and a fence on it's perimeter. Bright white squares in the freshly dragged infield. Straight white lines from the home plate to infinity with a marker where the fence intersects. As straight as straight can be. Next to the plate a measured white box. One each side across from the plate in perfect symmetry.
Soon it will be spring, and bats, balls, and mitts will litter the diamond and dugouts. It's a different feeling than the measured grid of a football field. Not as intimidating. More inclusive. Surrounded by that warm, cool, soft, bristly deep emerald grass.
Missed you baseball.
Friday, February 3, 2012
At the end of the day, it is what it is......
Tim couldn't get happy.
"At the end of the day it's still a business." He kept hearing it. The cliches were all he heard. "At the end of the day." and "It is what it is. Usually it made sense. Cliches are comforting at times. After all "
"Bullshit." he thought. "At the end of the day, I still need to make sure that there'll be enough to cover the mortgage, keep gas in the tank, and groceries in the fridge. At the end of the day. Give me a break. I'm so tired of that cliche. It's just an excuse to swallow the frustration. I know there's others in a harder position, but at the end of the day if gas goes ballistic like it did 2 yrs ago the raise I earned won't be a raise anymore. It doesn't matter if it's because of speculators in the markets, unrest in the middle east, or a spill in the Gulf. Gas goes in the tank, and the furnace needs to fire. At the end of the day the dog needs his shots, and I gotta fix the damn sink. That's what happens at he end of the day. Next damn day too."
His thoughts wandered to the news on the radio. "Fuckin' news. Fuckin pundits. Same shit, different day. Talking dickheads on the news talk about class warfare, or the deficit like it's the most important thing there is. It's bullshit. It's just a baseball game in suits. Just getting their own side to score. Tired of it. Tired of it all. I don't give a frogs fat ass which candidate talked about the others' past, and then that guy called it mudslinging. Besides if he did it, how's it mudslinging anyway. At the end of the day it doesn't matter about the Presidents birth certificate. Nobody asked about this 4 years ago? You know somebody did, so quit wasting our time. Does the deficit matter? Sure. On some level it does. But all you guys chicken littleing about it now - why weren't you this worried about it 8 years ago? It doesn't matter who crashed the economy. Too many poor people getting loans they shouldn't have, or too many go go bankers sucking up fees for the more loans they wrote and sold to Wall St. Too many houses on the market means it's harder to sell mine when it comes time and make a little. At the end of the day I still want a better place for me and mine. 4 years later we're still fighting over who's fault it is, instead of figuring out how to get us all out of the mess."
"Jesus. My heads all over the place. Need some sleep, or a distraction. What's on TNT?"
"At the end of the day it's still a business." He kept hearing it. The cliches were all he heard. "At the end of the day." and "It is what it is. Usually it made sense. Cliches are comforting at times. After all "
"Bullshit." he thought. "At the end of the day, I still need to make sure that there'll be enough to cover the mortgage, keep gas in the tank, and groceries in the fridge. At the end of the day. Give me a break. I'm so tired of that cliche. It's just an excuse to swallow the frustration. I know there's others in a harder position, but at the end of the day if gas goes ballistic like it did 2 yrs ago the raise I earned won't be a raise anymore. It doesn't matter if it's because of speculators in the markets, unrest in the middle east, or a spill in the Gulf. Gas goes in the tank, and the furnace needs to fire. At the end of the day the dog needs his shots, and I gotta fix the damn sink. That's what happens at he end of the day. Next damn day too."
His thoughts wandered to the news on the radio. "Fuckin' news. Fuckin pundits. Same shit, different day. Talking dickheads on the news talk about class warfare, or the deficit like it's the most important thing there is. It's bullshit. It's just a baseball game in suits. Just getting their own side to score. Tired of it. Tired of it all. I don't give a frogs fat ass which candidate talked about the others' past, and then that guy called it mudslinging. Besides if he did it, how's it mudslinging anyway. At the end of the day it doesn't matter about the Presidents birth certificate. Nobody asked about this 4 years ago? You know somebody did, so quit wasting our time. Does the deficit matter? Sure. On some level it does. But all you guys chicken littleing about it now - why weren't you this worried about it 8 years ago? It doesn't matter who crashed the economy. Too many poor people getting loans they shouldn't have, or too many go go bankers sucking up fees for the more loans they wrote and sold to Wall St. Too many houses on the market means it's harder to sell mine when it comes time and make a little. At the end of the day I still want a better place for me and mine. 4 years later we're still fighting over who's fault it is, instead of figuring out how to get us all out of the mess."
"Jesus. My heads all over the place. Need some sleep, or a distraction. What's on TNT?"
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Pro Bowl - it's lame
The Pro Bowl sucks ass. It sucked extra ass this year, but by and large it's the pole-smoker in chief of the pro sports all-star games.
I've wasted some time to wonder why, and I think it's because it's always been at the end of the season, and last year it moved up to the week before the Super Bowl. The 2 weeks did nothing about the suckiness, and general fan apathy. Howie Long, when inducted into Canton, declared that ".....baseball is America’s pastime, but football is truly America’s passion." So how can the all star game of our passion be so damn lame?
It's anti-climactic. We've just been through the drama, and intensity of the playoffs. Every season it's the same. We live and die as our teams succeed and fail in the playoffs. Then there's an exhibition after all the emotion is spent on the part of fans and players. Who really cares? Not the players by and large judging by the 1/2 speed play in the most recent 1st quarter. The stadium is seldom near capacity. Everyone is mic'd up, and we hear no intensity. We're all wore out by the time it's played. Players have had 6 months of collisions, and the accompanying aches.
Move it. Move the game. The NFL can't have a mid-season classic the same way that MLB, the NBA, and the NHL do. Move it where? Move it to the beginning. The 1st exhibition game. Instead of 2 teams for the Hall Of Fame game when players are inducted into Canton, have that be a showcase for the previous seasons' all stars. Instead of players wore down from a seasons aches and drama, they've been in camp for a month. Instead of stars opting out because of free agency, or playoffs, or whatever, more show. Instead of fans recovering from the latest playoff drama they've been going though football withdrawl for 6 months. Instead of the Titans/Chiefs (or any 2 franchises) playing thier backups and rookies for 2 quarters the fans get A-Rod, Brees, and Brady.
The Pro-Bowl sucks. Nobody really cares about it after a season. It's a meaningless exhibition currently anti-climactic. Make it a meaningless exhibition welcoming back fans and players to the gridiron of our passion.
I've wasted some time to wonder why, and I think it's because it's always been at the end of the season, and last year it moved up to the week before the Super Bowl. The 2 weeks did nothing about the suckiness, and general fan apathy. Howie Long, when inducted into Canton, declared that ".....baseball is America’s pastime, but football is truly America’s passion." So how can the all star game of our passion be so damn lame?
It's anti-climactic. We've just been through the drama, and intensity of the playoffs. Every season it's the same. We live and die as our teams succeed and fail in the playoffs. Then there's an exhibition after all the emotion is spent on the part of fans and players. Who really cares? Not the players by and large judging by the 1/2 speed play in the most recent 1st quarter. The stadium is seldom near capacity. Everyone is mic'd up, and we hear no intensity. We're all wore out by the time it's played. Players have had 6 months of collisions, and the accompanying aches.
Move it. Move the game. The NFL can't have a mid-season classic the same way that MLB, the NBA, and the NHL do. Move it where? Move it to the beginning. The 1st exhibition game. Instead of 2 teams for the Hall Of Fame game when players are inducted into Canton, have that be a showcase for the previous seasons' all stars. Instead of players wore down from a seasons aches and drama, they've been in camp for a month. Instead of stars opting out because of free agency, or playoffs, or whatever, more show. Instead of fans recovering from the latest playoff drama they've been going though football withdrawl for 6 months. Instead of the Titans/Chiefs (or any 2 franchises) playing thier backups and rookies for 2 quarters the fans get A-Rod, Brees, and Brady.
The Pro-Bowl sucks. Nobody really cares about it after a season. It's a meaningless exhibition currently anti-climactic. Make it a meaningless exhibition welcoming back fans and players to the gridiron of our passion.
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