Smartasses of the world unite!!

Generally a smartass and believer in the Twainism that Against the assualt of laughter, nothing can stand. Mission: mock bigotry, narcisism, and ignorance. This is a collection of thoughts on baseball, politics, economics, and occasional other things.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

Names again?

Mark - good name. Marcuses are usually pretty cool. If they end it with the "k" - kinda jaggish. Jason most of the time turns out to be a knob,and if they spell it "Jayson" - total ass. Tiffany - total skank, and if she wraps it up with an "i" at the end - stripper. Maynard - dork. Audreys are cool most of the time. Bill - cool. William - asshole. Petes are cool too. Peter? Dunno - something about having a penis euphamism as a name - just like Dick. Let's see, Patty - lesbian. Patti - cool. Patti is the only girl name ending with "i" that is not skanky/stripperish. Good to know. Apollo? Total jackass. Tim - cool. Timmys are usually wusses. Timothys are pretentious, and annoying. Sam - girls and boys go by Sam. Sams of either gender are pretty cool. Samanthas are bitches. Samuels are total dorks. Pauls are almost always cool, as are Paulas. Paulines are usually stuck up. Paulinas are usually kinda bookish, but in a cute way.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Unified GOP To Block Senate From Debating Wall Street Reform


So - "inaction is not an option..." On the other hand we will not debate the bill, offer amendments, etcetera - which is what legislators are supposed to do - yknow thier job.



Sound like they want to keep negoatiating - which is "legi-speak" for doing nothing.



Sorry Sen. McConnell - not buying it.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

More names

There are more names, and none of you are clamoring for more.....
Bonnies are cool, especially if their nicknames are Bon-Bon, or something similar. Kims are cool too, but the full name rule applies here. Kimberlys are stuck up - Kims are cool. Saras are usually pretty cool. Tammys are whiny and annoying - if it's Tami - she's probably pretty skanky. Lindas ane Lauras are usually pretentious. Lauras are smart, and can pull it off.

Bambi - come on, this is obvious. Stripper. Morgan are usually dingy, but hot most of the time. Kathy with a K is a cool name, but Cathys with a C are nerds. The only exceptions are if they finish with the "i." In this case they are dingbats. Michelles are always cool, and easy to hang with, and usually like to have beers. Patricias are like female Richards. If it's Patty - they're probably cool. If it's Trish, they might be crazy, so be careful. If they go by Pat, they are probably lesbians, and can kick your ass.

Carlys are cool, and almost always really fun and quick with jokes. Carlys are very funny. As I said before - Anns are cool. Annies are either stuck up, or nerds. Even if they are not hot, they're stuck up. Charles is tricky too. Chucks are usually pretty cools. Chuckies are crazy. Charlies are kinda dorks. If they insist on Charles - they are probably dickheads. Jeffs are usually pretty cool, but in a nerdy way. Geoffs are pinheads - come on spell it right. Jeffery/Geoffrey - always overly effeminate, and most likely gay.

Monday, April 12, 2010

What's in a name????

What's in a name? Well, Lisas are cool. Tinas are always skanks. Candi is a stripper name, but Cyndi is not. Dans are pretty cool. Steves are cool, but Stephens are self absorbed, and too macho. Teds are almost always nerds. Bretts are know-it-alls. Lisas are cool. Jens are cool, unless they want to be called Jenni...fer - then they're stuck up. Jenny is OK - if you're 12!

Amys - they're the best. They like beer and football. Laugh at dirty jokes, and are never uptight. Anyone who goes only by the full version of their name is stuck up. Elizabeth - stuck up. Beth and Betsy - very cool. They like beer too, but are soccer fans. Betsys do like baseball though.

Katrina - stuck up, but usually hot. Katy, and Trina - cool. Kerry - cool. Carri - stripper. Anns and Sues are cool. Annabelles are nerds. Susan is the only exception to the full version name rule. Susans are just as cool as Sues. More on this bit as it develops. And people - don't blame the messenger. I don't make the rules.......

Jesses are cool. Jessicas? Do I need to keep explaining? Les - cool. Lester - pervert. Rich is a tough one. If they laugh when you call them Dick - they are cool. If they say "It's Rich," they're a dick. Al is cool if it's Allen. If it's Alvin - nerd either way. George - have you seen Looney Tunes? The dumb guy names everything George. I know it's from Mice and Men. Again - just the messenger.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Greenspan Says His 'Friends' Got The Financial Crisis Right - And Trades Barbs With Michael Burry (VIDEO)


If there's anything to take away from Dr. Burry's story it's this: He read the prospectuses. He said that is why he went the way he did, and foresaw the subprime meltdown because he thought that the underlying mortgages that the derivatives were based on were bad on paper. If Dr. Greenspan wants to tell us that very few people could see this coming, and only a fortunate few did - that's kind of disengenuous. It looks like the people who foresaw the meltdown read the fine print. That does not sound like being "fortunate."



Whether it's the individuals fault for taking a mortagage they could not afford when the rates adjusted, or whether investors should be reading prospectuses before they're investing clients money into these derivative products, the one thing that cannot be legislated is human behavior. We're all free to make stupid decisions.



We're left with what we can do legislatively. Require greater capital reserves so that when investments go bad, the bank can take the loss? Require commercial banks (those backed by FDIC and with access to Federal Reserve Funds) to abstain from proprietary trading?



Don't know, but doing nothing is not an option.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost