Smartasses of the world unite!!

Generally a smartass and believer in the Twainism that Against the assualt of laughter, nothing can stand. Mission: mock bigotry, narcisism, and ignorance. This is a collection of thoughts on baseball, politics, economics, and occasional other things.

Follow me on Twitter

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The shine is off...... Oh Big Jaw....

3 games into the 2013 season, and the 49ers are 1-2. The sole win being week one against the Packers, and that was in doubt until a 4th down conversion late led to a clinching FG. Even then the "soft" Packers were every bit as physical as the big bad Niners. If not for Green Bay's inability to Cover Aquan Boldin, San Francisco might very well be 0-3.

I have to admit. I didn't think ol' Big Jaw Harbaugh would have fallen this soon. 3 weeks and the biggest, baddest bully in the NFC had 3 punks stand up and hit 'em back. Big Jaw had no answers to that, because if he's not the toughest kid on the block he's not much else. Simple scheme with no answers if it doesn't work.

I knew for sure in week 2. A 49er defender planted Seahawk QB Russell Wilson after he handed off on a read option, and I thought "Wow. Ol' Big Jaw can dish it out, but in the lead up to week one when Clay Matthews talked about hitting Kaepernick, Ol' Big Jaw didn't like hearing that." Anyway - Wilson got up without a lineman rescuing him. and Seattle continued it's ass kicking of Big Jaw's Boys. The 49ers had nothing to answer. No changes. not one adjustment - just more "we're tougher." That didn't work either.

Week 3, the Colts did the same thing. The Colts! We already knew the Seahawks were badasses, but the Colts? They punched the Niners in the teeth, and Big Jaw had nothing. Captain Comeback's old team told him to sit down and STFU. Trent Richardson - Pow! Ahmad Bradshaw - Pow! It was like the old Batman TV show. I kept waiting for the graphics to come up, and the camera angle to go to 45 degrees.

He was the coach to be man, Ol' Big Jaw Harbaugh. Now, surely things will be better when Michael Crabtree, and Vernon Davis come back, but then it's the same talent in the same old scheme that only works when he's able to push your team around. Now they now just hit him back. The Niners aren't so tough. Whose gonna do Pepsi commercials and stare at a blank white board now? Maybe ol' Big Jaw should put the Pepsi down, and draw on the board and figure out something to do now that everyone knows his team isn't that tough?

Monday, September 23, 2013

Whose culture of dependency?

Why is it they need to cut food stamps citing "ending the culture of dependency" for poor people, but they never talk about cutting subsidies for big agriculture, or defense contractors, or telecoms, or any of the other big businesses who, for years, use subsidies, and other tax loopholes. Isn't THAT a "culture of dependency" too? There's one important difference. People that use food stamps are, well first off 2/3rd are kids, but the rest are not campaign donors. So the tough talk the tea party simpletons put out there about budgets, and "dependency" is just a collection of platitudes that gets their benefactors to open the checkbook.

It's the same thing in a different vein when it comes to the circle jerk in the House with the 42nd vote to repeal the ACA, or to de-fund it in the looming debt limit. Why are House Republicans passing a bill that will not pass a Senate controlled by the Democrats, or surely get the VETO if it gets to the White House? Principle? A principled politician - that's really sweet of you. It's to show the check writers they're deserving of a little something something for the PAC. Those check writers don't want the ACA.

Here's my question: if the ACA is so bad, and will be so much suckitude in application why don't those who oppose it just let it suck, ride the suckage to election wins - since it'll suck so much right - and the repeal it?

Answer: It won't suck, and there goes the "culture of dependency" that those check writers will have to live without.

It's important to remember that when these things because they're never mentioned in the "red team/blue team" bullshit narrative that mainstream media thinks is "balanced" coverage.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Redskins - c'mon how is that not a slur?!?!?!

Every year it comes up, and every year it stays the same. Washington Redskins. Change the name. It doesn't honor the native Americans. It's a slur.

I've got a  better idea than trying to get the Washington Redskins to change their name. Let's use all the slurs we can. Shit, it's a melting pot.

Here are a few names suggestions:

Carolina Cousin Fuckers, Memphis Toothless Hillbillies, Philadelphia Greaseballs, New York Goombas, Houston Hicks, Dallas Redneck Pussies, San Francisco Sodomizers, Montreal Mongoloids, Notre Dame Drunk Irish, Kansas City Crackers,