Life is funny, and while this may come off as self-pity - and maybe it is a little - I try not to wallow in it.
We grow up, go to school, make friends, and other relationships. In my case we also moved a lot as a service family. I could complain about that, and as a kid I did, but I also saw some pretty cool things many only see in a photograph. So, it is what it is. We all take the good with the bad. But the past being what is our experience, and that which makes us who we will become - I never did a good job of developing long term friendships. I am often jealous of friends who talk of others who they have been friends with since gradeschool. It's one thing I hope my kids develop.
As I find myself after a divorce reconnecting with old friends, I am reminded that I really missed out on time with these people by not keeping in touch with them while I was married. It's one of those things you look back on with regret, not as an error of commission, but of omission. I did not try hard enough to stay in touch with these people. That's my loss I guess. At the same time I feel good knowing that I've arrived at this wisdom while a relatively young 42. There is still time to be friends with these guys I did stupid shit with. Friends to introduce my kids to, and to my kids.
In that respect it's a good thing. Old friends are always in our hearts, and as long as that heart beats in the both of us there is hope to reconnect, and isn't hope the one thing we all really need?
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