By including the year in the title I am in no way indicating that I have made predictions in the past, or that I will do so in the future.
This is a short list of predictions,
1) 32 NFL GMs will tell us they are very happy with their first selection, and that they believe that he will be an impact player for years to come.
2) 31 Owners will likewise express excitement about said players.
3) The Packers, not having an owner, will have that sentiment echoed by the team president.
4) Mel Kiper Jr. will tell us that a player is a reach when he's taken at least 7 times.
5) Jon Gruden will tell us that the player taken is a great football player, that you can't just go by measurables, and that Mel Kiper Jr. is full of shit. Of course he won't use that language.
6) Roger Goodell will hug a lot of guys on stage as if he was really good buddies with them.
7) 32 1st round selections will hug, and fist bump Roger Goodell, without giving away how full of shit they think he is - on the advice of agents of course.
8) Once the 1st overall pick is made, many fans of the team picking him will be gleefully excited.
9) Once the 1st overall pick is made, many fans of the team picking him will be apoplectic that they did not take the other guy.
10) Most of the rabid draftniks don't know what apoplectic means.
11) Twitter will be ablaze all night in fury over 32 teams 1st round selections.
12) So will Facebook.
13) The Jacksonville Jaguars will fuck it up.
14) Chris Berman will talk too much using the bullshit baritone voice - ala John Facenda - because he's cool like that.
15) He won't know, or won't care how much football fans hate that voice when he does it - just like they hate his "Back back back - GONE!" home run call at the HR Derby. And it doesn't matter because he makes bank no matter how sucky that voice is.
16) I will wish that Charles Barkley was a commenter on the draft, just so I can hear him say "turrible" and "knuckleheads."
17) Fans will hail 32 GMs as really smart, and having run a great draft.
18) Fans of all 32 teams will curse their team GMs as total idiots, and lament the gloomy future their teams face.
19) Mel Kiper Jr.'s hair will look like it's snapped on.
20) Jon Gruden will be a living reminder of the times our Mom's said "If you keep making that face someday it'll stay that way."
21) 1st rd draftees being able to select walk up music to play as they walk to the podium for the bullshit hug and fistbump with Goodell will not be noticed.
22) Shit. Maybe now it will.
23) Thousands of fans watching on television will marvel at how elite college football players all have really hot girlfriends.
24) Know it alls will get many picks wrong, but the few times they are right, they'll remind their buddies incessantly.
25) There will be a lot of beer commercials.
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