Andrew Luck is not Sandy Koufax, but.....

 
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Andrew Luck is not Sandy Koufax. To compare the early retirements of the two is not fair....to Sandy Koufax, or Andrew Luck. Sandy Koufax had a longer, more impressive, stay in the Major Leagues (12 seasons, 3 Cy Youngs, 4 no hitters, and an MVP) than Andrew Luck (7 seasons. and 4 Pro Bowls) did in the National Football League. But it is fair to compare the two retirements, and our reaction to them.

With apologies to the rest of the globe, Lionel Messi, and soccer, Andrew Luck, like Sandy Koufax, is a generational talent at the preeminent position of the most popular sport. Like Sandy Koufax, Andrew Luck decided to retire in the prime of his career. In 2018 he was named to his 4th Pro Bowl, and also named comeback player of the year in 2018 after missing a season due to .surgery on his throwing shoulder, and subsequent rehab. The Colts were preseason darlings of the NFL writers, Many predicted that the 9-1 finish, and wildcard berth, of the 2018 season would carry over to 2019. By comparison, Koufax retired after the 1966 season in which he went 27-- with a 1.79 ERA. After the World Series he retired due to the arthritic condition of his throwing elbow. Koufax cited living with near constant pain during his press conference as the reason for his early retirement. Likewise, Andrew Luck did the same.

Surprisingly, no shockingly, he was booed by the Indianapolis fans. Fuck Indiana. In fact, fuck everything Indiana except for Larry Bird.. Earlier in his career he missed a 9 games of the 2015 season due to a sore throwing shoulder, and later in 2015, a lacerated kidney. That was before the shoulder injury, surgery, and rehab that sidelined him for the 2017 season. The dude put it all on the field for those fans. It reminds me a little of the Packer fans booing Brett Favre, but it took Brett Favre to put on a Vikings uniform and returning to play for that. He wasn't booed for unretireing and playing for the Jets. I can't think of a parallel where fans booed a player who retired early after 4 years of pain as Luck cited "...the cycle of injury, pain rehab..."

Maybe, just maybe, we sports fans can take sports a little less seriously, and more like they're intended; as a distraction, and something to enjoy for their simple beauty. The competition, and the beauty of the athleticism that they entail, make them unique as human endeavors. The identity we transfer upon them as fans of them, really should be minimized. Taking Sandy Koufax's words of wanting to grow old with the use of both arms into context, it's really all there is to sport. We should lighten up.

But still, fuck Indiana. Bobby Knight, Mike Pence, Notre Dame, and now booing Andrew Luck, yeah fuck Indiana.

How to appreciate the World Cup

I've never been a basketball fan. Not that I didn't enjoy the athleticism, and excitement that at times the game provided. But the nuances, and things that a basketball fan sees and appreciates were lost on me. A buddy, at some point, explained to me that you have to watch the whole game, not the ball. "Movement away from the ball" it's called.

As I've been watching the World Cup that phrase made a return to my consciousness from my recesses of memory. It got past baseball stats, football matchups, jokes, trivia, Bill Murray movie lines, boobie images, shopping lists, errands, and what ever else is there.

Watching soccer is like watching basketball, or hockey. In fact, hockey is basically soccer on ice with players on skates as opposed to cleats. Basket ball is soccer on a wooden floor with the goal raised and shrunk without a goal keeper. It's not the ball so much as players moving and the defenders adjusting. The whole idea of soccer derivatives is to move the ball, the offensive players, and when the defensive players react, adjusting to get a better shot. It's the same thing. Identical. If you can appreciate a backdoor cut on a basketball floor, you can appreciate a centering pass between defenders. A shot off a rebound is the same as it is in hockey. If you find yourself out and a match it on, give it a chance. You don't need to know who Ronaldo is. You don't need to care about who members of the US Mens Team might be.

None of this is to say, or convince, that soccer is as good as basketball or hockey. You may not even really give a shit.  

Retire the number......once Brett is in Canton

Retire the number. We know it's deserved for what was done on the field. Enough of the drama

For at least 3 years prior to Brett's first retirement there was the "will Brett retire" dance. After the 2007 season this is pretty much what happened:

Pack: Brett, c'mon man. we do this every year. It's getting old. Make up your mind for everyone

Brett: Well, right now, in March, I think I'll retire.

Press conference, I've loved Green Bay. We loved you too Brett. You're the best. No, you're the best

August rolls around

Brett: Man, I know I retired, but it's time for camp. I miss the guys, and playing. I'm not retiring.

Pack: OK, but you have to win the job.

Brett: S'cuse me? I'm Brett f'n Favre. It's my job.

Pack: Negative - you have to win it. Canton bound or not.

Brett: That's BS. Brett Favre don't carry a clipboard. I'm playing.

Pack: Not if you don't win it.

Brett: 3 MVPs, and a Superbowl ring. My job.

Pack: All 10 years old. You have to win it.

Brett: Might as well trade me, cuz' the ol gunslinger is playin'

Pack: OK, but not in the division. You're going to the Jets.

2008 rolls on. Brett's a Jet. Good start, bad finish.

Brett: My arm hurts. I'm retiring - for real this time.

Vikings: Not so fast. Think about it. We're not in a hurry. Jackson.....he's not good.

Brett: Alright I'll think about it.

Vikings: Too bad about the end in Green Bay. We feel terrible for you.

Brett: Thanks man. Chilly, you're alright, and I know Darrell from back in the day. Remember my 3 MVPs?

Vikings: Hellz yeah

Brett: Alright. I'm playing.

Brett tears it up in 2009, but Brett's away the Conference Title against the Saints.

Brett has a forgettable 2010, and A-Rod leads the Pack to SuperBowl LXV.

He want to keep playing, and prove he had it. Nothing more than that. Favre haters need to get over it all.

Brett Favre's number #4 should be retired. The same as Bart Starr's #15. Just like #15 though, #4 should wait until he's enshrined in Canton. Not out of spite, but because that's the Packer way.

Who gives a shit? Really - why do we even care?

This is getting old.

Manti T'eo had a girlfriend. According to him she was the love of his life. She died. Coincidentally, she died the same day as his grandmother. Now the story breaks that this girlfriend was fictitious. Whether he made her up, or she was made up to begin with, and he fell in love online for the phony person, and - ARRGHH - who gives a shit how the details shake out. Story goes on that maybe the made up dead girlfriend story was all to engender sympathy on the part of Heisman voters. Really? Are Heisman voters really that soft-hearted? I'm actually inclined to believe he was duped, because being dumb explains EVERYTHING. First off, was the Gramma even real? I assume she was, because if they found out about the girlfriend, they had to have looked into the Gramma right? If Gramma was real, how dumb is it to think you need a dead girlfriend in the story because the drama of playing through a beloved dead Gramma is just not sad enough. Is this the NCAA or All My Children?

Also, Lance Armstrong has come clean. Yeah - I don't care about him either. Whoop de fuckin do. Lance cheated. Sorry. I really don't even care if he doped while competing. Seems this was a pretty widespread problem in professional cycling. Not sure why. I mean it's professional cycling for fuck sake. Very few cyclist become enormously wealthy. Not sure why you'd take the needle, and risk raisining your nuts for a cyclists paycheck. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and elite cyclists rake it in. Lance's problem wasn't cheating, or using PEDs. His problem is being a self-important cock-wad. His problem was using his name and celebrity to crush people who criticized him by telling, what turns out to be, the truth. All I know is that I can never watch Dodgeball the same way again. I'll have to tell Vince Vaughan not to listen to Lance because he's a big headed, self-serving, lying little douche-nozzle. Fuck him and his little bracelet. Being a colossal dick, and ruining others' lives doesn't get wiped away because of charity. Dick - there's your legacy Capt One Nut.

It's really ridiculous that this is even a story. I mean, I get that it is. It's big because it's a freak show, and we all love a freak show, but why are we surprised? There are millions of dollars at the end, or even in the middle of, the sports star rainbow. You get to bang Sheryl Crow. Brent Musberger crows on TV how hot football player girlfriends are - because they are. Hello!!! You get to earn millions playing. Then you get to make more doing Wrangler ads - even after you text your dick to a girl in the PR dept. Who wouldn't lie, and cheat their way to that. We lie and cheat for even less. OF COURSE professional, and elite college athletes, lie. Of course they take PEDs by a large margin. And we love it. We love big, fast collisions. We love athletes dominate the competition. We love touchdowns, and long home runs. That's what we want. So, that's what we get. So quit fucking belly-aching when the curtain is pulled back showing it's all a put on.

You're welcome.

Move the Pro Bowl - for the love of Pete!!

Can we move the Pro Bowl? Please, can we?

NFL Football is the most popular sport in the United States. By far it has more fans, and more eyes on the television screen than NBA Basketball, Major League Baseball, and NHL Hockey. So why is its all star game, the Pro Bowl, the lamest, least watched, least covered, and least talked about of all the major sports all star games? Major League Baseball has a whole weekend of activities. Monday before the game is televised with the Home Run Derby, celebrity games, and other assorted activities. The NBA likewise enjoys a days long extravaganza of the Slam Dunk Competition, and the 3-Pt Shot Competition leading up to the All-Star Game. Hockey has its own skills competitions showcasing the skills that make the game so great.

Additionally these 3 events all take place in the middle of the season. They're a break of sorts where fans take a short break from the races that only then are about to be getting underway to celebrate the best participants the respective sports have to offer.

The NFL Pro-Bowl by comparison sucks. It totally sucks. It's a sucktacular sucktacle of suckage. No skills competitions, non-participation by a significant number of fan selected starters because of sore ankles, elbows, turf toes, hamstrings, and a general "who gives a shit, I'm here because of a contract bonus" air surrounds the entire affair. Well, I'm here to say it does not need to be that way, and it shouldn't.

The most important thing the NFL can do is move the Pro-Bowl. It's in the completely wrong time of the season. It's at the end. All the players are tired of playing. They're beat up, and worn down from the season. It's also played the week between the Conference Championship games, and the Super Bowl. Who gives a shit? How anti-climactic can you be? We've been ramping up to the playoffs all season, and then we're following the playoffs and all the drama entailed there. Then, finally, when we find out who's playing in the Super Bowl, the Worlds Championship of the biggest sport, but wait, let's take a break and watch an exhibition. What?!!?!? Really?!?!?! It's 15 degrees outside, and I'd rather take down my Christmas lights. (I know - slacker)

Move it to the beginning of the season. It can't be a mid-season break like the other sports. Move it to the beginning. Instead of the Hall of Fame Game between to teams, have the Pro-Bowl be the Hall of Fame Game. Really, it's at the beginning of the season. People are ready for football to be back. The athletes are just back from the off-season, and are ready to compete instead of ready to go home and rest.

It's a whole weekend. There's the Hall of Fame Inductions. There's a whole weekend to do skills competitions. There can be a NFL Fastest Man competition. There can be a Strongest Arm competition. There can be a Strongest Man competition. All of it on NFL Network, or ESPN. Then instead of an exhibition between tow teams 2nd and 3rd stringers hoping to make the kickoff coverage team we can watch the Pro-Bowlers we all elected the previous year.