Soulmates?!??!??

Not to sound bitter here, because life is quite good, and who am I to begrudge others their myths. But seriously, how is the idea of a soul mate still widespread? You know, soul mate; the one person on this world you are meant to be with. Of the entirety of humanity, they are the one person you are meant to be with.

My first question is what if my soul mate lives in the mountains of Nepal? Is part of the soul mate mythology that they also live in a certain radius, and speak the same language you do? What if your soul mate speaks Portuguese? Ever try to find Portuguese tutors? It's not easy. Spanish, German, Chinese - those tutors are everywhere. I guess it's a good thing there are a lot of Chinese tutors. There are a billion Chinese, and if they're each somebody's soul mate, a lot of people will need to learn Chinese.

Sometimes a soul mate is encountered that renders an existing relationship null, and facilitates a breakup. Seems contrary to romantic myths that a soul mate would reveal themselves only to bring pain to the non-soul mate. I guess romance can't be romantic all the time. It's a pretty cool coincidence when the soul mate is a co-worker of sombody's significant other, I guess. I mean, they speak the same language, and they're right there at work. No global jumping around. No message in a bottle for Robin Wright to trace. No syndicated radio shows with Tom Hanks calling in. Dammit! They're sitting right there by the elevator. Awesome!!

Of course we need soul mates, and assorted romantic myths. Otherwise card makers, florists, candy makers, makers of giant Lexus bows, Micheal Bolton's music, and Meg Ryan's movie career would be null. Do you know how many print jobs are supported by greeting cards? Holy shit, they're one of the last things, aside from junk mail still being printed what with books going digital. In the end silly romantic myths are fuel for the economy, and who am I to threaten the livelihood of people working in chocolate factories?

Ahhhh the hell with it. Believe in your stupid soul mate.