Smartasses of the world unite!!

Generally a smartass and believer in the Twainism that Against the assualt of laughter, nothing can stand. Mission: mock bigotry, narcisism, and ignorance. This is a collection of thoughts on baseball, politics, economics, and occasional other things.

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Thursday, January 10, 2013

BBWAA - Nice going douchenozzles

Baseball Writers Association of America are, collectively, a bunch of sanctimonious, pretentious douche-nozzles. They could not find ONE SINGULAR player who deserved (according to their highfalutin ass-hattery) entrance into Cooperstown. Among the players considered:

Barry Bonds: Career HR leader, and single season HR record holder. Only guy in baseball EVER to hit 500 HR, and steal 500 bases. Only fucking guy.

Roger Clemens: 354 wins, and 7 Cy Young awards. I'll say that again - 7 fucking Cy Young Awards. And before you yell steroids - 3 Cy Young awards before leaving Boston.

Craig Biggio: All he did was get 3,060 hits, play at an all-star level at 2 positions (C and 2B). I guess he's not a 1st ballot HOFer. What a bullshit, totally made up thing. "Oooh - he's so good he's a 1st ballot Hall of Famer." Suck it writers, you're either in or out. Robin Yount has the most comparable career to Biggio, and Yount was a "1st Ballot" guy. He had 3,142 hits. That's only 82 more, and he excelled at 2 positions as well.

Jack Morris: Dominant in his era and totally MONEY in the postseason - plus the best fucking mustache this side of Rollie Fingers.

Curt Shilling: See Jack Morris sans mustache, PLUS pitching in the 04 postseason on one leg.

Lee Smith: 3rd all time in career Saves with 478 - He's not in yet?!?! Are you fucking kidding me!?!?

Tim Raines: 7 consecutive all star appearances, 5th all time steals, The 4 ahead of him are all HOFers, including Ty Cobb, Rickey Henderson, and Lou Brock who have been bestowed the bullshit "1st Ballot" status. (Billy Hamilton's 914 steals in 14 seasons just wasn't good enough according to the writers, so he was named by the veterans committee in 1961.)

Lot's of people call players who used PEDs cheaters. Cheating is breaking the rules the other players are following for an unfair edge. Use of PEDs was widespread before they were banned until the early 2000s. It can't be cheating of most players were using them, and it can't be cheating if it's NOT AGAINST THE RULES. We couldn't hear enough about how great Bonds was, and how McGwire, and Sosa saved baseball with the chase of Maris in 98. You can't have it both ways. If steroids were such an edge, why didn't Canseco get to 500 HR? PEDs don't give you better hand/eye coordination to hit the ball, and they don't give pitchers better control of curve balls, and sliders. Besides, if use was widespread it's a wash. If you dominate your era, you're HOF. You're career speaks or it doesn't. Were players penalized who put up the numbers before the color barrier was broken? No. There is no question their numbers would have been different had the best players from the Negro leagues been playing, replacing the lesser white players who were only there BECAUSE of the color barrier. So take the "What would the numbers have been without PEDs?" argument, and shove it up your pompous ass.

And lastly, 1st ballot, 2nd ballot is a made up, bullshit thing. It means nothing because it's a totally subject to the la-di-dah whims of the BBWAA. No player has ever been unanimously voted into the HOF? What? There isn't ONE player all writers could ever agree should be in the HOF? The highest percentage for a HOF inductee was Tom Seaver who received 425 of 430 votes (98.8%). Who DIDN'T vote for Tom Seaver? Babe fucking Ruth got 215 of 226 votes for 95.1%. 9 people didn't think Ruth should have been in Cooperstown? 9!!! Hank Aaron, 406 of 415. What? Was it the same 9 dumb-ass idiots? Why do we let these fuckheads decide the Hall of Fame. If you don't all agree on something as obvious as the (at that time) all time HR leader is HOF worthy, you're as useless as tits on a bull. And, anyways, who made them, the big sheriffs of baseball integrity? Why are they the guardians of our game. Fuck them. Frankly, the Veterans Committee should be given the selection job by Cooperstown since the BBWAA can't stop fucking it up.

Christ! No wonder the players can't stand the writers. They're fucking dicks.

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